CORE VALUES AND PRINCIPLES
On this exploration of relating from a different perspective, overcoming conditioning and finding what’s important in new paradigms of relationships, this is one core value that brings an immense amount of gifts.
TRANSPARENCY is about allowing yourself to be fully seen, no matter how you are, where you are, in your inner journey of being. No expectations, nothing to be done or fix. Just an open expression of what’s true at any given moment. And from there, create a space for shared understanding and connection.
It’s a key point that brings lightness, clarity, openness, vulnerability, trust, ease and flow. Even when what comes up it’s not so “nice” to begin with. It’s a space that invites us to hear and be heard fully from the heart, being present, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and owning our own stuff.
For some reason, it’s easier (for some, and sometimes) to be fully transparent with a friend, rather than a lover or a partner, even sometimes parents or business partners. I guess there’s something there around childhood memories and wounds, perhaps also trauma when young or as an adult, and experiences not fully processed and integrated that got stuck in the way, blocking the possibility of living life to the fullest and go beyond the comfort zone.
In relating, transparency it’s often blocked by fear. Fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, of being too much, of not being good enough, fear of loss, fear of a pattern repeating once and again, fear of success…All these, among others, get in the way and end up creating distorted ways of expressing what’s true and alive in us, and sidetracks to express what we need, want, desire and even what we’re afraid of. Therefore creating more shadow pieces that get in the way of enjoying a connection whatever form it may have.
I’d say that Being Transparent is a life choice. You can either let the shadow and unconscious stuff lead your life, creating more and more of what you don’t want; or instead courageously open up to see what’s there and bring it to light, and realize that what was inside or you were afraid of is more the projection of the shadow of something, rather than the thing itself.
Of course, sometimes there are things that are big, really big, and need to be fully embraced and acknowledged. In many situations these need just to be witnessed, heard, and then they fade away.
“Oh, what if I say this….?” “Should I tell him/her this or that?” “I want to/i need to express this, but…” “Last time I expressed myself ______ Happened, and then….” Some questions and beliefs that might be around getting in the way…
I invite you to look at the half full glass instead of the half empty glass: Why not just share where you’re at? In any situation. What if actually what I say or feel it’s fully welcomed? Allow yourself to step in that space, and see what happens. Most probably you will discover the gift of actually rewiring and reprogramming any past experience that smalled you and blocked you from Being who you are, fully.
Transparency is not only about expressing yourself truthfully, but also about holding space and listening from the heart. And many times, hear first in order to be heard. Honoring the vulnerable space of sharing what’s alive, while breathing and in full presence. As this other being that’s there expressing itself, is a voice inside of me as well, that deserves and it’s worth listening to.
The only way to develop this communication “muscle” or skill is through, is by stepping into it and practice, aware, present. Layers and layers will reveal, as every interaction it’s totally different. Welcome it all, embrace it all, be aware by breathing in loving presence of what you say and what you hear and let the mystery reveal itself. There’s always more to learn and more space for growth.
How is this for you? What are your feelings about it? What are your challenges and struggles/juggling with this?